


Just A Walk In The Park

by Ladytalon



Series: The Doctors Light [19]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3807334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you’re a supervillain, babysitting isn’t exactly a walk in the park.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Walk In The Park

Two pairs of eyes stare at Kimiyo incredulously as the ultimatum is issued. “When you say babysitting _all day_ …”

“It means exactly that, Arthur,” she snaps. “It’s not going to kill you to put off your latest escapade – what is it this week, stealing hubcaps to make a death ray?”

Arthur snorts derisively and gestures towards her as he looks down at Imako. “Did you hear that? Your mom actually thinks that hubcaps have enough of a reflective-” he cuts off at Kimiyo’s warning growl. “I guess it’s the park, then.”

Imako gives her mother a pleading look. “I thought Aunt Kara was gonna watch me.”

“Kara is tied up with work – stop snickering, Arthur – but she promised to take you somewhere special next weekend. Now, I’ll see you both when I get home.” She gives a kiss to each disgruntled party and teleports away with a flourish of her cape. 

Showoff.

They look at each other silently, then Imako grins. “Are we really going to the park?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re learning how to fly today, and we’re going to make at least ten people wet their pants. Get your shoes on.”

She claps her hands excitedly and runs off to her room while he finishes his coffee. Imako’s back before he’s done zipping up his hooded sweatshirt, and Arthur casts a quick glance around as they head out the door. His stepdaughter slips her hand into his much larger one, and he looks down at her. “Ready?”

Imako nods. “Yeah!” she says, so he teleports them both to the top of the Bludhaven radio tower where a diode belt, helmet, and gloves are waiting for his small protégée. She shrieks and starts hopping up and down so excitedly that Arthur has no choice but to wait until she calms down enough for him to hook the belt around her waist. “Do I get a cape like you an’ Mommy?”

“We’ll see.” Arthur smiles as he sets the helmet upon her head – it’s a tiny black motorcycle helmet with a modified starburst design on the front. “Gloves on, Little Light.” She shoves her hands into them while he makes sure the helmet is properly fastened beneath her chin, and then shows her how to lower the visor. 

When she’s all geared up, Arthur raises his hands with the palms facing up. “Watch carefully, and do whatever _I_ do.” He lifts his hands slowly, and Imako carefully mimics the movement. “Every gesture is a command, and right now you’re telling the belt that you want to go _up_.”

“I am?” she asks, wrinkling her nose in disbelief. “But I’m still standing right here.”

He looks down pointedly. “Are you, really?”

Imako glances down, too, and lets out a bloodcurdling shriek at discovering that she’s hovering in midair – her arms begin to windmill and she drops back down on the rooftop so hard that she lands on her backside. “Omigosh, omigosh, I was _flying…!_ ” When the fright begins to ebb and Imako’s natural ebullience reasserts itself, she looks delighted. “I wanna do it again!”

She quickly proves herself to be an apt pupil, and it’s not long at all until she’s zipping back and forth. Her turns are clumsy and need work, but Arthur is very pleased with her progress and finally motions her back to the rooftop for a rest. “That’s enough for today-”

“ _Aw!_ ”

“-but we can come back again to practice.”

She looks up at him hopefully. “Can I practice with a cape next time, Onii-sama?”

“We’ll _see_ ,” he repeats. 

“Daddy, _pleeeease_.” 

“From big brother to father in less than thirty seconds? That’s quite an upgrade,” Arthur teases as he removes her helmet. “Quit bouncing around, I can’t undo the buckle!”

Imako sighs heavily, forcing him to hide his grin at her theatrics. “Okay,” she says sadly.

He packs away the gear and inverts the light surrounding it, ensuring that it won’t be discovered. “Now, I thought we could go play ‘Narrator’ but if you’re just too upset…”

The mention of her favorite game perks her up immediately. “Oooh!”

“That’s what I thought. Where to?”

She tilts her head to one side, thinking hard. “Well, you _did_ say that we were going to the park. You just didn’t say what we were gonna _do_ there.”

“Are you _sure_ I’m not your biological father?” Arthur muses appreciatively. “Let’s go.”

He teleports just inside the picnic shelter at the city’s main park, and they scout for their first victim – Imako chooses a middle-aged man scrubbing at one of the grills. Arthur warps the light around them and approaches at an angle, waiting for the man to bend back over the grease-caked surface. “In a world where germs are everywhere,” Arthur intones loudly, making the guy drop the brush and look around wildly, “One man refuses to contract salmonella.”

“What the hell?!?!” They circle around the man quietly as he begins to extend his hands and pat at the air. “Who’s there?”

“This summer, prepare to grill for your life as-” Arthur pauses and asks in a more normal tone, “What’s your name?”

The man looks even more bewildered. “Uh, Jerry.”

“-as _Jerry_ flips a burger. A burger for freedom,” he concludes dramatically.

Jerry is still looking around. “Seriously? A burger for freedom.”

“Hey, buddy, you should try coming up with something good when there are children present,” Arthur says irritably. “I’m trying to keep it family friendly, if you don’t mind.”

“I like freedom burgers,” Imako offers.

“You see? She liked it.”

Jerry has probably never been so confused in his entire life. “ _Huh?_ ” 

They leave him still scratching his head and looking around in bewilderment, and go scare the daylights out of three middle-aged women sitting on a park bench. Imako insists upon pranking one of her classmates who has recently been inexcusably rude, so he helps her dangle the unfortunate soul upside down by the jungle gym. Yet another girl gets her ice cream levitated before her terror-stricken eyes, but he draws the line at putting gum in the hair of her grade school nemesis. “Keep this up and we’ll be cellmates in no time,” Arthur says. “C’mon, there’s a fight downtown that needs a few more spectators.”

Imako sighs. “Okay, but… just one more? _Pleeeease?_ ”

“One last one, then we’ll go.”

This time, three teenage boys gets their shoelaces tied together and Arthur delivers the coup de grace by pantsing them directly in front of the girls they were working so hard to impress scant seconds earlier. “Is that a thong?” he calls out loudly, making everyone in the near vicinity look around at the hapless trio.

Imako tugs at his sleeve urgently. “Make one of them have ruffles on the back,” she begs.

“You want it, you got it.” The requested ruffles appear in the shape of skull and crossbones, just in case the kid’s masculinity feels threatened.

Arthur ‘ports them to Central City and the scene of a fight in progress, just in time for lunch. They each get a hotdog from a surprisingly calm vendor and Imako perches on his shoulders so that she can watch while she eats. “I _promise_ not to drop relish onto your head,” she says in response to his stern warning. “Oooh, look! Uncle Eobard’s here!” The little girl waves frantically, and Arthur winces at the feel of relish sliding down past his ear. “D’you think he saw me? Did he see me? Uncle Bardy!!! Hi!” 

A yellow whirlwind surrounds them and plucks Arthur’s lunch out of his hands neatly. “Shhhhhhhooouuuuuuld youbebringingher heeeeeeeerrrrree?” Reverse Flash asks him disapprovingly.

“What else are we going to do; build a death ray out of hubcaps?”

Imako leans down, offering up her half-eaten hotdog. “You hungry, Uncle Bardy? You can have my hotdog if you need it. Arthur can get me another one. Onii-sama, can you get me another one please?”

“Fine. Get out of here, _Bardy_.”

Eobard picks the hotdog out of its bun and slaps him in the face with it before cruising off to rejoin the fight. Arthur scrubs the mustard and relish from his cheek with a sigh. He deposits Imako on the ground and buys two more hotdogs from the vendor who cheerfully informs him that he’s missed a spot. This time Arthur boosts Imako up on a platform of solid light, then boxes her in with a force field that will keep her safe from any flying debris. Eobard comes back to gift her with one of Flash’s winged earpieces, much to her delight.

The crossbeam of a nearby traffic light comes hurtling at them, and Arthur deflects it with a flick of his fingers as more of Imako’s beloved ‘uncles’ come up to them. “Hiya, Squirt,” Mick greets her. Arthur warns him away from an asbestos-laden hug so Heatwave sticks to a high-five and asks her about school as Arthur returns his gaze to the battle.

“Got it contained pretty well,” he observes. “What kind of radius are you working with?”

Len works a finger behind the lens of his glasses to scratch the outer corner of his left eye. “Only ten blocks, today. Bank’s been givin’ us a hard time about our unscheduled withdrawals… and _why_ do you have mustard on your eyebrow?”

“Eobard stopped by to say hello.”

“Kim know you’re bringin’ her sweet baby girl down here to cheer for the home team?”

“Yes, Lenny. I have a signed permission slip and she packed our lunch before we left – the fuck _is_ it with you guys having a sudden attack of conscience?”

His friend grins. “She might send you to your room, and then where would we be when we really need a favor? Oh, hang on a sec.” He wheels around to fire his gun at a passing red blur, narrowly missing. “Damn it.”

“Missed it by _that_ much,” Imako cries out happily.

“What the hell.”

“Nick at Nite _Get Smart_ marathon,” Arthur explains. “She pretended there was a phone in her shoe for a full week.”

“Ah.” Lenny lifts a hand to signal to Weather Wizard and Mirror Master. “Time to head back; maybe we’ll see you at the Gallery later tonight.”

Arthur nods. “Maybe.” The two Rogues bid farewell to their smallest fan, and Arthur checks his watch while absent-mindedly flicking away yet another potentially deadly projectile. “Okay, where d’you want to go next?”

Imako considers this question. “Let’s go see Merlyn; he promised to show me his trick arrows.” Knowing Merlyn, that probably means showing off how he can shoot someone in the ass from a mile away. “Go, Rogues!” she yells supportively, and Axel detonates a giant whoopee cushion in her honor. Arthur refuses to wonder where the thing has been hiding all this time.

They appear a block away from Merlyn’s house so Arthur gives him a call as they’re walking over – god forbid they don’t give the man time to hide his Queen shrine – and his friend does indeed sound a little breathless and panicked at the prospect of their upcoming visit. Imako amuses herself by skipping over the cracks in the pavement, and Arthur messes with her by making one of the cracks stay just in front of her so that she can never seem to reach it. She yells at him once she realizes what’s happening so he lets her chase him down the sidewalk until they get to Merlyn’s place, where he dodges behind a few bushes while Imako tries to come after him. “Well, well… domestic trouble, is it then?” Merlyn asks, leaning out of the doorway to watch. “You must be losing your touch, Arthur, letting a little girl run you around like that.”

“He lets my mom run him around like this too,” Imako reports.

“Thanks for that,” Arthur says drily.

“Anytime,” she replies, and then ceases to be concerned about hunting him down and gaining revenge. “Hi, Uncle Merlyn! We came to visit you.”

“I see that,” the man in question says gravely. “Would you like to come inside and view the newest battle I’ve set up?”

“I thought we were banned from ‘viewing’ your battles ever since that unfortunate incident-”

“Don’t call it an _unfortunate incident_ when it was _you_ who just couldn’t help himself and mixed up the ranks,” Merlyn says heatedly. “Though to this day I can’t imagine how long it must have taken you to find those tiny bottles.”

“I thought it might be fun to throw them an impromptu kegger,” Arthur explains. “It’s in your house, not a museum – it doesn’t have to be historically accurate _all_ of the time…”

“Remind me why I let you into my house at all?” Merlyn asks, looking exasperated.

“Because I’d just come in anyway. Plus I’ve got that whole ‘ruggedly handsome’ thing going for me.”

“Hmph.” Merlyn opens the door wider and fans the air with his other hand. “Come in, then.”

“Well, if you’re going to be so nice about it,” Arthur can’t resist teasing.

“Get in here before I change my mind,” the archer snaps. Imako giggles as he glares at her and makes the swishing motion again. “IN!”

Inside, they find Calculator taking over the sofa with no less than three laptops and multiple tablet computers. “Hey, Noah,” Arthur greets, leaning over to clasp his friend’s hand. “What’s with all the gadgets? Thought they fumigated last month.”

Noah rolls his eyes. “That’s what they told me, but you wouldn’t believe the size of those damned things-”

“Hey, now,” Merlyn interrupts. “Swear jar, five dollars.”

“You gotta be _shitting_ m-”

“Now it’s ten.”

Noah reaches for his wallet with a scowl. “Come _on_.”

“Say something else,” Imako chimes in. “Merlyn says that if the jar gets full by the end of next month, he’s having a pizza party. It’ll be fun!”

What? Arthur turns to raise his eyebrows at the archer, who is retrieving the infamous ‘swear jar’ with a self-satisfied look upon his face. “I didn’t know Merlyn liked pizza. Or _fun_ , for that matter.”

“Laugh it up while you can, Light. You’ll slip up soon enough,” Merlyn says. “One of these days, you’ll forget and spew enough profanity in this house to lose that bet. There’s no possible way you can hold out until the end of the year.”

Calculator hands Imako a ten to put into the jar. “The whole point of a swear jar is to keep your children from following your example, not to impoverish your colleagues… _or_ to get a lapdance from a man with questionable facial hair.”

“What’s a lapdance?” Imako asks curiously.

“Thank you _so_ much, Noah.”

“I live to serve,” Calculator smiles, then picks up one of the tablets. “Here, kid – Yahoogle it.”

Arthur snatches the tablet away from his stepdaughter. “I’ll Yahoogle you if you don’t stop giving her these ideas. She’s going to ask her mother, and her mother will ask _me_ where her sweet baby girl is coming up with all of these questions… that’s when I’ll tell her that it’s all your fault.”

“Does that mean that you want him to dance on your lap? Is that what it means?” Imako asks Merlyn. “But why would you-”

“ _Hey_ , Noah – why don’t you let her Skype with one of your kids?” the archer interrupts desperately. “You’re not using all those tablets for work, are you?”

After having a good laugh at Merlyn’s expense, Noah takes the tablet from Arthur’s hand and gives it back to Imako. “I think Wendy’s online.”

“ _Wendy!_ ” Imako exclaims excitedly, grabbing the tablet and heading to the other side of the room.

Arthur asks after both Wendy and Marvin, who are apparently having the time of their lives in college – Noah insists upon believing that his darling children are being studious angels, but the face Merlyn makes suggests that the ‘time of their lives’ includes a lot of partying, sex, and Cliff’s Notes. They gossip about other Society members and who the League of Assassins are going after this week (Merlyn refuses to either confirm or deny, but Arthur and Noah don’t have genius level intelligence for nothing) when Arthur’s phone rings. He looks down at Kimiyo’s picture and sighs before accepting the call. “Whatever it is, it’s not my fault.”

“ _Good to know. Where are you?_ ” the light (ha) of his life asks.

“Where are we? Oh, you know. Nowhere special.” Merlyn glares at him. “What can I do for you?”

“ _Well, we can discuss th_ -”

“You’re on speakerphone.”

“ _I am **not** , so quit dicking around and listen. Imako’s dance teacher called, and we need to get a new leo for her recital on Monday – the store closes at five and I can’t get there until at least seven-thirty, so it’s up to you. Try not to get arrested for looking like a sexual predator_.”

Arthur sighs again. “Why did she wait until now to tell us about the leotard?”

“ _She’s probably still mad about you inviting the Rogues to the last recital_.”

“Yeah, maybe. What kind am I supposed to get?”

He’s assured that Imako will know exactly which one she needs, which begs the question of why _she_ didn’t tell them, but it quickly becomes clear that he really will have to walk – publicly, no less - into the unfortunately named Ballet Bonanza. Not that he minds having to do this particular errand, but just hearing the name of the store has always sent him into a paroxysm of second-hand embarrassment. At least this way Arthur will finally be able to see for himself whether or not the store also sells cowboys hats and lariats. Kimiyo signs off in her usual manner, which means warning him to stop butt-dialing her and then hanging up on him when he tries to say ‘I love you.’ Of course this has happened so often that, to avoid public embarrassment and provide variety, he changes his declaration of undying devotion to different statements altogether. “Okay, I…” – _click_ – “…have herpes,” Arthur finishes, tossing the phone onto the couch cushions.

“I thought you had herpes last week,” Noah says, glancing up from the screen in front of him.

“No, that was gonorrhea. I haven’t had herpes in at least a month.” Arthur cranes his neck to look at the carved wooden cuckoo clock. “Has that thing been fixed yet?”

Merlyn glances over. “It tends to run fast, so I’d just check your phone if I were you.”

“Why do you have a clock if it won’t tell you the right time?”

“It’s _collectible_.”

“Collectible, my-” he catches himself in time and Merlyn leans back again, disappointed as the swear jar goes unfed. “Those pine cones aren’t even real metal and hey! Speaking of real metal, want to go shopping with us? I need to buy a leotard.”

Calculator looks up again. “If you’re going to Ballet Bonanza, I’m staying here. I went out with the owner a few nights ago.”

The archer’s head whips around. “So _that_ is why you didn’t take my calls.”

“No, the reason I didn’t take your calls is that you wanted to discuss what Ollie meant when he told you he’d see you later. He literally meant that he would see you _later_.” Noah takes a moment to pat his hair back into place. “And also I had a fifty-fifty at getting some.”

Arthur leans forward, curious. “Did you?”

“Hey, you never tell us about _your_ sex life.”

“That’s because it’s private, and I know how to keep a secret. _You_ , on the other hand, have verbal diarrhea when it comes to getting laid. I live vicariously through your infrequent, irresponsible and ill-advised fumbling, so out with it.”

Noah looks vaguely offended, but too excited about actually having sex recently to make it an issue. “It wasn’t… _actual_ … but still, yeah.”

“Define actual,” Merlyn demands and all three men glance over to where Imako is still happily chatting on Skype, before leaning closer together. “Did you do the ‘we’re out of gas’ move on her?”

“ _No_ , she said she liked the movies and-”

“The popcorn,” Arthur declares. “Tell me _right now_ that you did the popcorn thing.”

“Can you just let me finish?”

“That’s what she said.” They all snicker at that one. “Seriously though, I don’t know anyone who’s actually done that.”

“Well, you _still_ don’t.”

“That’s disappointing.”

“I’m sure Kimiyo would love it if you surprised her during movie night,” Merlyn suggest innocently. “Were I you, I’d try it out with a marital aid first though. She’s got quite the grip.”

“What do you know about her grip?” Arthur asks, bristling.

Calculator clears his throat loudly. “Back to _me_ , if you two five-year olds don’t mind. As I was saying, she said she liked the movies and so we went to the new Cineplex down by that new strip mall…” he trails off, looking at both of them suspiciously when no juvenile comment follows his use of the word _strip_. “Seriously? You’re not going to jump on that?”

Arthur can resist no longer. “Someone else jumped on that at the movies.”

“You are literally a _child_.”

“Just finish the story!”

“If neither of you have anything stupid to add, then I will.” Noah waits for a few seconds, then continues. “Fine, then. So she’s got this purse that’s so huge, a small child could fit inside it, and it slides right off her shoulder onto the floor. I gave her a hand, and – oh, for _Christ’s sake!_ ” Both Arthur and Merlyn explode into laughter and Merlyn straightens out the ring finger of his right hand, which he’d folded against his palm. “I’m not telling either of you anything, ever again.”

Merlyn smirks. “Now that’s a… _shocker_.”

“Grow up, both of you. I’m not saying another word,” Noah snaps, picking up a laptop at random and settling it upon his knees before typing as loudly as he can.

“We’ll just ask _her_ what happened. Shall we go?” Arthur asks mock-innocently. “C’mon, kid, we’re getting you a leotard.”

Imako tears her attention away from her own conversation. “Okay. They close at five.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“I just gotta say bye to Wendy first…” She does so, then trots back over to catch Arthur’s hand. “There’s an ice cream shop next to the ballet store, if you didn’t know already,” she informs him, looking up at him through her bangs. “Just in case you were _interested_.”

Arthur just barely manages to keep a straight face. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Does that mean yes? ‘Cause Mommy did that to you on Tuesday and you said yes to _her_ right away.”

Both Noah and Merlyn have coughing fits, and Arthur glares at his friends. “It means that we’re leaving right _now_. Are you two coming with us, or not?”

Merlyn strokes his beard pensively. “That depends on whether or not you end up getting ice cream… still, could be interesting if Noah’s fellow movie lover is there.” Calculator declines the invitation with the excuse that there is such a thing as being ‘too available’, whatever that means, and finalizes his takeover of Merlyn’s couch by stretching out and putting a laptop on each of his thighs. “Now, remember: if you spill anything liquid, the upholstery cleaner is under the sink and the cleaning rags are in the hall closet. If there are crumbs, you have to remove all of the cushions because that’s how you get _ants_. Or maybe just don’t eat or drink in here at all. Maybe I should just stay-”

“See you later, Noah,” Arthur interrupts, hustling Merlyn towards the front door. 

“Have fun, kids.”

Imako giggles and turns back. “See you _later_ , Calculator!”

Noah winks. “In a while, Crocodile. Make sure Gramps over there gets a tutu.”

“Okay!”

The first thing Merlyn does when they appear in the shopping center is to lift a hand and point at the sign. “Ballet Bonanza? That’s the actual _name?_ ”

“Terrible, right?”

“Why wasn’t it named the Ballet Boutique; was that name already taken? Does Lorne Greene ring up your purchases? This is terribly confusing,” Merlyn says as they walk in. “Why not just call it Tutus and Ten Gallon Hats?”

“Because _that_ name was already taken,” the woman behind the register says coolly. “Can I help you?”

Arthur places his hands on Imako’s shoulders and gives her a little push into the line of fire. “This one needs a leotard.”

With a final warning glare in their direction, the woman turns her attention to Imako and ushers her towards a rack of something-or-others. “Why don’t you just let me know what color you’d like, and we can start from there… which studio do you take lessons with, dear?”

Merlyn wanders towards a display of sparkly batons while Arthur crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall. “So, d’you think that’s her?” he murmurs.

“I have no idea. Does she look like she enjoys feature films? Yell out ‘dinner and a movie’ and see what happens… hey, look! They sell pink cowboy hats.” He plucks a baton from its place and gives it an experimental twirl before putting it back. “You should buy one for Kim.”

“Yes, and then she could borrow Diana’s lasso,” Arthur says drily. Still… if they have one in her size… “I dunno, maybe.”

A group of women come into the store towing their pink-clad girl children, and every last one gives Arthur and Merlyn the stink-eye. Remembering his darling wife’s parting words, Arthur reaches out to hold his friend’s hand and the women abruptly lose interest in calling the police. “This is outrageous, having to play up the tired and extremely offensive stereotype that only gay men can set foot in a dance shop,” Merlyn complains.

“Do you not remember that time in Iron Heights?” Arthur is obliged to ask. “Then there was that _other_ time-”

“Yes, but we’re not a _couple_.”

“So you’re saying that you’re _really_ offended by being seen as my partner.”

“That’s not it, and you know it,” the archer hisses back at him. “You know what I mean!”

“And you’ll know what _I_ mean when I say that I’m still on probation, so just let me hold your hand until Imako gets back here with that damned leotard.” He pauses and looks down at their joined hands. “ _Someone’s_ been moisturizing, huh?”

“Shut up,” Merlyn huffs.

Arthur finds a feather boa and immediately drapes it around his neck, having Merlyn take a picture of him so he can send it to Kimiyo as proof that he was actually inside the store and at long last, Imako returns with an armful of clothing. “Whoa, whoa – we came here to get _one_ of those things,” he protests.

Imako looks up at him through her lashes. “But I want them.”

“Try again,” Arthur says, glancing over at Merlyn to show him the right way to deal with a child.

“They’re on sale?”

“Still not quite there.”

“If you don’t buy them for me, I’ll tell Mom about Yahoogling a lapdance at Merlyn’s house?”

Damn. “ _Fine_ ,” he sighs.

“Plus I want ice cream,” Imako bargains. “With extra sprinkles. And one of those batons.”

They leave the store with ‘one of those batons,’ a bagful of sparkly clothing, and Merlyn trying his best to contain what seems to be an all-encompassing enjoyment of the situation. “What just happened?” Arthur asks in bewilderment as Imako tows him to the ice cream shop.

“You, my dear friend, were just out-villained by a six-year old.”

“She’s eight.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any less embarrassed for you.”

Once inside, Arthur holds Imako up so that she can look inside the case and have a serious discussion with Merlyn over which flavors they should get. Merlyn suggests that Arthur choose vanilla since the flavors of sadness and shame have been discontinued, but Imako believes that he should pick banana nut. There’s a small basket with packets of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans for sale beside the register, so Arthur buys one and empties the bag out onto a napkin. There’s a lot of squinting at the guide on the back, but he manages to sort out the nastiest ones and splits them up. “Here, I got you two some jelly beans,” he says with a smile, sliding them across the table. “Enjoy.”

“Aren’t those Harry Potter’s jelly beans?” Imako asks, causing Merlyn to look up from his ice cream cone and frown suspiciously.

“Of course not. I don’t see Harry anywhere around, do you?” Arthur smiles. “Try the yellow one.”

Payback duly achieved, Arthur settles against the back of the booth and checks his email while Imako rubs a napkin over her tongue and Merlyn’s face slowly unfreezes from its pained grimace. They spend another half hour discussing the antics of Imako’s grade school nemesis – the one who almost wound up with gum at her hair in the park – and what she should do about it. “How much money’s in your piggy bank?” Merlyn suddenly asks.

“ _No_ ,” Arthur says meaningfully. “Even if she said something as a joke, you’d still be liable. We’ll figure something out after dinner.”

“Does Mommy have to know?” Imako asks, kicking her legs under the table nervously. “If she goes to school and talks to the principal…”

“I’ll talk to her before she does anything, okay?”

The little girl nods. “Okay.” Then, struck by a sudden thought, she turns to Merlyn accusingly. “Hey! You never showed me your arrows.”

Merlyn widens his eyes at her, making her giggle. “That’s true; I didn’t. What are you going to do about it?”

“Um…ask Mia to come over and teach me archery because you won’t?”

He clutches at his chest as if wounded. “Oh, my feelings! They’re in critical condition!”

“It’s okay. I have a Band-Aid,” Imako says seriously, digging in her back pocket and withdrawing a lint-covered Hello Kitty bandage that she then places on Merlyn’s shirt. “All better.”

“Thank you, child.”

Imako gives him a big smile. “Welcome.”

They deliver Merlyn back to his house before heading to theirs, with a quick stop at the grocery store on the way because Kimiyo calls him to request lasagna for dinner. The ‘request’ is really more of a demand, but whatever. Imako rides on his shoulders during their trip through the aisles, so he makes her get things off the higher shelves and throw them in the basket that Arthur switches from hand to hand… thankfully no one else is around when the bottle of grated parmesan hits the floor and bursts. When they get back home, he sends her off to take a bath while he gets dinner ready and deals with the sudden, unwelcome appearance of Power Girl. 

“Hey, loser. Whatcha makin’?”

Arthur doesn’t even bother looking up. “Why, _hello_. Come in, please.”

“Isn’t that the lasagna I asked Kimiyo for?” Kara smirks. “Good boy.”

“I have a container full of granulated Kryptonite and I will not hesitate to sprinkle it in there,” Arthur says. “Stole it from Luthor last week, so it should still be fresh. What exactly _do_ you want, again? I thought you were busy with your bondage thing.”

Kara puffs her bangs out of her face. “No, that’s been done for at least three hours – stopped by to see how Imako’s doing. Where is she, by the way?”

Arthur gestures towards the ceiling. “Bath.”

“I bet she missed me today.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will.” He turns away to drain the noodles and get a casserole dish out of the cupboard – Kara, displeased with his calm reaction to her needling, flips through a sales circular and leaves him alone. Yasu comes hurtling through the door with one of his friends in tow, asking if he can stay for dinner. Arthur agrees to the request and the two boys head up to Yasu’s room, probably to search for pornographic magazines hidden beneath the mattress. “Lock the door,” he calls up the stairs as an afterthought. Kara heads up there when they hear an inordinate amount of splashing, but it turns out to be Imako pretending that a sea serpent is in the tub with her.

Kimiyo finally returns home when he’s cleaning up, and she comes to kiss the back of his neck. “You made lasagna!”

“Well, you asked so _nicely_.” Arthur turns to grab her and lift her onto the counter for a proper kiss this time. “There’s a sea serpent in the upstairs bathroom.”

She kisses the bridge of his nose, then both eyelids. “Good to know. How did it go with Imako and- oh, did Kara stop by?” Kimiyo asks.

“Like I said – there’s a sea serpent in the upstairs bathroom.”

Kimiyo laughs and pushes at his chest. “Go away.”

“Make me.” He growls and nuzzles at her neck, but her soft intake of breath keeps him there for more than just pretending to bite. Kimiyo’s hands slide into his hair, and she pulls his head up for a kiss that makes Arthur completely forget that they have a full house. Of course when things _really_ start to get interesting – right about the time that Kimiyo reaches for his zipper – the sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs interrupts them.

“Sorry to interrupt your Harlequin moment,” Kara says insincerely. “Really, I hope you cleaned that counter first.”

Arthur steps away from his wife regretfully, but makes sure to keep her in between him and the rest of their audience so that his ‘interest’ subsides in relative privacy. “Hi Mommy,” Imako cries out, running up for a hug. “Auntie Kara’s here and can she stay for dinner pleasepleaseplease?”

Kimiyo embraces her daughter, then reaches up to draw her hair back into a ponytail before giving the front of Arthur’s jeans a discreet glance. “I’m not sure if there’s enough… Arthur? What do you think?”

“Yasu brought what’s-his-name for dinner, too,” he says in tacit agreement. At least there’ll be no leftovers. 

The family, plus two, gathers around the table where they’re quizzed about their day and Arthur puts Yasu’s friend to work by handing the kid a stack of plates and pointing him towards the silverware drawer. Kara gives him a dirty look when he tosses her a bag of chopped lettuce and a serving bowl – Kimiyo disappears into their bedroom to change quickly, and resumes her line of questioning when she comes back out. “How was the park?” she asks him. “You didn’t pull a repeat of what you did to Slade, I hope?”

Arthur lifts a hand to rub at the back of his head. “Not everyone has his reflexes, Miko,” he says, remembering the time he had sneaked up behind the man and gathered himself to deliver a deafening bellow of “NERD!” in Deathstroke’s ear. It had been hard to tell which of them was more surprised, but Arthur had seen double for more than a week after.

“You’ve really got to stop taking dares from Guy Gardner,” Kimiyo tells him, and then turns to Imako. “Did he behave himself?”

Imako looks up at her mother, over at Arthur, and back to Kimiyo. “It was okay. I got ice cream,” she says, shrugging. “There was a fight, and we had hotdogs. He didn’t like going into the ballet shop.”

“Dinner’s ready,” Arthur announces. “Everyone who’s eating needs to grab a seat.” He busies himself with removing the lasagna from the oven and putting six portions onto the plates that are passed around to him, then gives Imako the barest wink as he hands her plate back. She grins and skips back to her place at the table. Kara gives him a long look when Arthur sets the ‘granulated Kryptonite’ down in front of her – it’s really just a jar of green sugar crystals with the label torn off – but doesn’t say anything. “Would you like some diet soda?” he asks politely.

Kimiyo kicks him in the shin. “Sit down and eat.”

“I guess you’ve had some already.”

“Arthur,” his beloved says warningly. “Stop.”

He raises his hands palm outwards in a sign of compliance, and reaches for the bowl of lettuce. “Who still needs salad?” Everyone settles down to eat dinner and, except for the occasional death glare from Kara, it’s fairly uneventful. What’s-his-name’s mother comes to pick him up while Arthur is badgered into making brownies, and Yasu mopes around until he finally figures out that he might be able to get his friend’s share. There’s the usual Sunday night flurry of activity after dessert; school lunches need to be packed, baths taken, clothing laid out, and errant schoolbooks excavated from laundry piles that should have been taken care of hours ago. 

When the children are safely in bed and Power Girl is just an unpleasant memory, Kimiyo comes to join him on the couch. Arthur pulls her onto his lap and buries his nose in her hair. “You smell like MILF.”

She swats him. “I hate that term; don’t use it.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Doctor,” Kimiyo reprimands.

“Doctor Ma’am.”

She kisses his jaw. “That’ll do. So, tell me: what did you two _really_ do today?”

Arthur smiles. “Hubcap Deathray. She’s quite gifted.”

“One of these days you’ll run out of smartass comments, and I’ll be there to witness it,” Kimiyo says, tweaking his beard. He makes a mental note to discuss Imako’s problem later on. “Now, tell the truth.”

The _truth_. His smile widens. “Okay. We went to the park, dangled some kids upside down and freaked out a man grilling burgers. Then we saw a meta fight in Central City during lunchtime, traded gossip with Calculator and Merlyn, bought way too many leotards, and had ice cream.”

Kimiyo rolls her eyes and gets up to leave. “I don’t know why you can’t be _serious_ for once, Arthur, I really don’t. I’m going to bed.”

“Oh, I forgot the part where we spilled all the grated Parmesan at the grocery store,” he calls after her and is rewarded with another sound of disgust.

“Good _night_.”

Well, she _did_ ask.

_fin_


End file.
